Crunch time

Today we had a broker open house. Today we got pressure from the current owner of the little Needham cape to close 3-weeks early. Today I had my weekly doctor's appointment, and I was told that I lost 2 pounds (he said that is not abnormal before delivery - I didn't see how it was possible), and that I am 1cm dilated. Today B and I mutually agreed "why are we putting ourselves through all of this?"

My saving grace for today was a fantastic picnic in the park with my son, and looking forward to a night out with my girlfriend S. After I picked up CR from school, we could not return home due to the onslaught of strangers poking through our home, so I packed up a picnic lunch and we headed to the park near our house. CR was thrilled that I brought along all of his favorites - a PB and Fluff sandwich, dried cranberries, cashews, applesauce, squeeze yogurt, Goldfish crackers, strawberries, and of course, an apple to share. We plopped down in the grass in the middle of the park (I tried to refrain from thinking about all of the local dog owners who walk their dogs there on a daily basis solely for the purpose of getting them to relieve themselves...sure, they use their little plastic doggie bags to scoop up the obvious, but you have to think remnants linger behind on the blades of grass...yep, just grossed myself out again just writing about it...), and enjoyed our lunch in the sun.

The brokers loved our place. Definitely a great thing...for those who are 100 percent sold on moving. One broker brought along a couple who were "very interested" in our space - this image, the mere thought, of someone else living in a place where B and I are totally smitten with, and wouldn't think of leaving if it weren't for the impending arrival of our daughter, made us cringe. After lunching with CR at our favorite local playtime haunt today, leaving here voluntarily made me want to smack myself in the face. I love this town, I love this house, I love this life here.

We are schizo, that's all there is to it. We are emotional bitches who need to suck it up, and go with our gut instinct to close the chapter on this home, and move onto a larger space that inevitably will be better for our kids (and for our sanity with two children). I expressed to B that we will most likely move forward with things, and will grow to love our new town and surroundings. That the sadness that we felt when we lost the Needham cape the first time was a good indication that we are at least a little bit ready for this life transition...the next three days will be the be-all-end-all determinants of where we will be later this summer...oh, and that little "elephant in the room" baby that we are expecting could come any time...stressed? Nah...not me...

At least I have the pregnancy hormones to blame my on-again-off-again feelings about moving and staying...

(image from here)